100 Skills Your Autistic Preschooler Should Work on Before Kindergarten (Kindergarten Autism Readiness Checklist)

TL;DR: Kindergarten Readiness Isn’t Just About ABCs

• Kindergarten readiness for autistic preschoolers includes social and emotional skills — not just academics.

• Many autistic children benefit from direct, explicit teaching of social skills before kindergarten.

• Emotional regulation, communication, flexibility, peer interaction, and independence matter most.

• Download the free Autism Social Skills Checklist at the end of this post.

Table of Contents

• Why Are Social Skills More Important Than Academics Before Kindergarten?

• What Communication Skills Should an Autistic Preschooler Have Before Kindergarten?

• What Emotional Skills Should Autistic Preschoolers Learn Before Kindergarten?

• How Do You Teach Flexibility and Coping Skills Before Kindergarten?

• What Classroom Skills Are Expected on the First Day of Kindergarten?

• What Social Skills Help Autistic Preschoolers Make Friends?

• What Independence Skills Should a Child Have Before Kindergarten?

• Frequently Asked Questions About Kindergarten Readiness in Autism

Is my autistic child ready for kindergarten?

This is one of the most common—and stressful—questions parents ask.

Many families are told to focus on letters, numbers, and early academic skills. But kindergarten readiness for autistic children is about much more than academics.

It includes communication, emotional regulation, flexibility, social interaction, and independence in daily routines.

Many autistic children benefit from direct, explicit teaching of social skills.

A child may be able to recite the alphabet or count to 100—and still struggle to ask for help, join a group activity, or manage frustration in a classroom.

That’s why it’s so important to look at the full picture.

If you're not sure where your child is right now, I’ve put together a simple checklist with 100 social skills that can help you see what to focus on next.

Grab this free social skills checklist if you are working on social skills

👉 You can grab it here and come back to this post anytime.

In this post, we’ll walk through the most important skills to work on before kindergarten—broken down into clear, practical categories so you can decide what to focus on first.

Kindergarten readiness for autistic preschoolers includes communication skills, emotional regulation, flexibility, peer interaction, and daily independence skills — not just academic knowledge like letters and numbers.

Why Are Social Skills More Important Than Academics Before Kindergarten?

Many parents worry about whether their child knows letters, numbers, or sight words before kindergarten.

Kindergarten readiness for autism should include social and emotional skills—not just letters and numbers

But research consistently shows something more powerful.

A longitudinal study by Jones, Greenberg, and Crowley (2015) found that early social skills were stronger predictors of long-term adult success than early academic performance.

In other words:

It’s not just about knowing the alphabet. It’s about knowing how to function in a classroom.

This is particularly important for autistic preschoolers.

Many autistic children have no trouble singing the ABCs, pointing to shapes on request, or identifying numerals.

Taking a break before emotions escalate is a skill many children with autism need to be directly taught

But that same child may be unable to request help at snack time, ask to join a game on the playground, or tell a teacher they are feeling overwhelmed.

A child can be academically capable — even advanced — and still struggle socially in ways that make the classroom feel confusing or stressful.

Kindergarten readiness isn’t just about what a child can label or recite.

It’s about whether they can navigate the social and emotional demands of a school day.

And if we are going to prepare autistic youngsters for a successful school experience, we need to make sure we are intentionally addressing:

• Communication skills

• Emotional awareness

• Regulation strategies

• Flexibility

• Peer interaction

• Independence in daily routines

These are the skills that allow a child to access the curriculum — not just sit in front of it.

And the good news is: social skills before kindergarten can be explicitly taught.

What Communication Skills Should an Autistic Preschooler Have Before Kindergarten?

Look for ways to practice social skills that involve activities your child enjoys, if they enjoy coloring social skill worksheets can be used but some children prefer to work on the skill with gross motor activities

Foundational communication skills include:

1. Respond to name

2. Look toward a speaker

3. Use words, signs, pictures, or AAC to communicate

4. Speak loud enough for others to hear

5. Persist with communication attempts

6. Use repair strategies if others do not understand (for example, repeating or using a different word)

7. Request help

8. Request a break

9. Say “more” or “all done”

10. Answer yes/no questions

11. Follow one-step directions

12. Follow two-step directions

13. Make a choice between two options (can be verbally or by pointing)

14. Use simple phrases (“I want…”, “I need…”)

15. Ask for a turn

16. Use “stop” appropriately

17. Tell an adult when something is wrong

18. Share basic personal information

Without these skills, even academically advanced children may struggle to participate in classroom routines.

If you’re working on communication skills, these blog posts may be helpful:

• How to Teach an Autistic Child to Ask for What They Want

What Emotional Skills Should Autistic Preschoolers Learn Before Kindergarten?

Emotional regulation in autistic preschoolers often begins with these skills:

16. Match pictures of basic emotions (happy, sad, mad, and scared)

17. Sort emotion pictures

18. Point to pictures of basic emotions

19. Label basic emotions in pictures

20. Identify when I feel happy, sad, mad, or scared

21. Identify happy, sad, mad, and scared in others

22. Identify events that might make someone feel happy, sad, mad, or scared

23. Notice simple body clues connected to emotions in themselves

24. Label feelings using words, visuals, or AAC when they feel them

25. Take a deep breath or other simple coping strategy when prompted

26. Ask for a break before escalating

27. Accept “no”

28. Recover after disappointment

Parents often ask: “My autistic child knows their letters but struggles socially — is that normal?”

Yes. Uneven skill profiles are common in autism.

And regulation skills can be taught with structured, visual supports.

If you’re working on emotional regulation, these posts may help:

• How to Teach Coping Skills to Autistic Preschoolers (What Actually Helps)

• Why Your Child Isn’t Using Coping Skills (and What to Teach First)

• Visual Supports That Help Autistic Children Regulate Emotions

  
  

How Do You Teach Flexibility and Coping Skills Before Kindergarten?

Kindergarten requires constant flexibility.

Transitions. Waiting. Sharing. Stopping preferred activities.

If you are working on taking turns you can grab this free 25 page taking turns social story with realistic photos

Skills to practice:

31. Accept a change in plans

32. Transition between activities

33. Clean up when playtime ends

34. Stop a preferred activity with some warning

35. Try new activities (can be very brief)

36. Try a new food (can be a tiny amount)

37. Handle losing a simple game

38. Share adult attention

39. Take turns with non-preferred materials

40. Take turns with highly preferred items

41. Accept help from an adult

42. Accept feedback calmly (such as "use an inside voice")

43. Wait briefly for a preferred item

44. Use a timer appropriately

45. Move between settings calmly

These flexibility skills are central when preparing an autistic child for kindergarten.

If you’re working on flexibility and handling changes, these may help:

• Teaching Children with Autism to Take Turns

• How to Teach an Autistic Child to Wait

  
  

What Classroom Skills Are Expected on the First Day of Kindergarten?

Teachers often expect children to:

46. Sit with the group

47. Stay in a designated area

48. Line up

49. Keep hands to self

50. Respect personal space of others

51. Listen when others speak

52. Signal to speak (raise hand or similar)

53. Take turns in conversation (for 2 to 3 conversation turns)

54. Follow simple classroom rules (line up when bell rings, stop activity when light flashes)

55. Participate in circle time (wait to come up and put a number on the calendar, etc.)

56. Complete a short task independently (color your paper and put it in the basket when you are done)

57. Clean up materials (this includes things like placing pencils, etc. back where they belong)

58. Wait while others are served

59. Walk with the group

60. Stay in the appropriate area when playing outside

These are all skills we may assume occur naturally. However, they are skills that can be explicitly practiced and learned.

If you’re preparing for classroom routines, these posts may help:

• How to Help an Autistic Child Sit for Circle Time

• How to Introduce School Rules to Neurodivergent Learners

Breaking "friendship skills" into small discrete steps often helps children with autism begin to connect with peers

What Social Skills Help Autistic Preschoolers Make Friends?

Friendship skills include:

61. Return smiles from peers

62. Say hello or wave to peers when seeing them initially (does not have to be every time or every child but occasionally without being prompted)

63. Say goodbye or wave to peers as they are leaving (see above)

64. Call peers by name occasionally

65. Tap peer or say peer name to get their attention

66. Observe and join play of peers

67. Play next to peers with only minor conflicts for brief time periods (15-20 minutes)

68. Share toys (not all the time but at least occasionally)

69. Take turns during play and on play equipment such as slide or swing

70. Ask peers to play

71. Use kind words (I like your shirt.)

72. Notice when a peer is sad

73. Apologize appropriately (at this age may need to be prompted)

74. Forgive a peer (can be just by nodding head or saying, "okay")

75. Work with a partner

76. Play simple cooperative games

77. Accept different ideas

78. Respect others’ belongings

79. Ask before taking something

Social interaction skills do not always develop incidentally in autism. Many need direct modeling and structured practice.

What Independence Skills Should a Child Have Before Kindergarten?

Self help skills are an often neglected skill that is necessary to function well in a kindergarten class

Daily living skills include:

81. Wash hands independently

82. Throw away paper towel

83. Use the toilet independently

84. Fasten clothing

85. Ask to use the bathroom

86. Put on a coat

87. Put on shoes

88. Put belongings in a bookbag

89. Zip jacket and bookbag

90. Open lunch containers

91. Eat with simple utensils

92. Wait at the table

93. Clean up after eating

94. Use a tissue to wipe runny nose

95. Cover coughs and sneezes

96. Use indoor voice when appropriate

97. Walk safely in hallways

98. Walk next to an adult without running ahead

99. Stop when told “stop”

100. Try again after frustration

If you’re working on independence skills, these may help:

• Using a Sticker Chart to Increase Independence

• Toilet Training Strategies for Autistic Children

• Teaching Handwashing to Children with Autism

  
  

Frequently Asked Questions About Kindergarten Readiness in Autism

Visual supports like this free waiting visual support are an easy way to incorporate explicit teaching of social skills

Do autistic children need different kindergarten readiness skills?

Autistic children often benefit from direct instruction in communication, emotional regulation, flexibility, and peer interaction in addition to academic learning. The core expectations may be similar, but the way skills are taught often needs to be more explicit and structured.

Can a child be academically advanced but socially delayed?

Yes. Uneven skill profiles are common in autism. A child may know letters, numbers, or even read early — while still struggling with requesting help, joining play, or tolerating changes in routine.

This pattern is often seen in children with hyperlexia, where early reading skills develop alongside social and communication differences.

👉 You can read more about hyperlexia and what it means here.

What if my autistic child struggles with transitions?

Transitions are often challenging because they require flexibility and regulation. Visual schedules, first-then boards, timers, and short social skill stories can make transitions more predictable and manageable.

Does my child need to master all 100 skills before kindergarten?

No. This list is not a pass/fail test. It is a roadmap. Kindergarten readiness for autistic preschoolers is about building foundational skills over time, not achieving perfection before the first day of school.

Is My Autistic Child Ready for Kindergarten?

The truth is, readiness doesn’t mean your child can do everything on this list.

Instead, look for a few key signs that your child is beginning to manage the social and daily expectations of a classroom.

Your autistic child may be ready for kindergarten if they can:

• Communicate basic needs (using words, visuals, gestures, or AAC)

• Follow simple directions and participate in short activities

• Tolerate small changes or transitions with support

• Begin to manage big feelings with help from an adult

• Show early independence in daily routines (like toileting, eating, or cleaning up)

If your child is still working on these skills, that’s okay.

Kindergarten is part of the learning process—not something children need to be fully prepared for ahead of time.

Many autistic children enter kindergarten with uneven skill profiles. A child might be strong academically but still need support with communication, flexibility, or emotional regulation.

What matters most is not perfection—but progress.

With the right supports, visual tools, and direct teaching, children can continue building these skills during kindergarten—not just before it.

These readiness skills are grounded in typical expectations within the U.S. public school system. Educational models around the world differ in how they approach early childhood, independence, and social development. If you’re outside the United States, I’d truly value hearing about similarities or differences in your country’s kindergarten expectations.

Kindergarten readiness isn’t about perfection.

It’s about knowing what to work on next.

If you’d like a simple way to track progress and identify which skills to prioritize, download the free 100-Skill Kindergarten Readiness Checklist below.

👉 Grab your free checklist here.