How to Help an Autistic Child Wait Patiently (From Seconds to Minutes)

Reading time: ~8–10 minutes

Audience: Parents & early-childhood educators (PreK–2)

Keywords: how to help autistic child wait patiently, waiting worksheets for autism, waiting visuals, preschool social skills, autism social skills, preschool SEL

TL;DR (Quick Wins)

• Learning to wait is a skill, not a character trait.

• Start with seconds, not minutes; build trust with tiny wins.

• Use visuals, a calm timer, and gentle language so waiting feels safe.

• Practice in playful, low-pressure moments; then bring the skill into daily routines.

• Some days will be shorter than others—keep practice frequent and positive.

Grab Your FREE Wait Lanyard Cards

Click here for an instant download for waiting visual support cards that can be placed on a lanyard

Table of Contents

1. Why Waiting Feels Hard

2. How to Start Teaching Waiting Skills

3. Waiting Supports That Work

4. Step-by-Step Plan

5. What Kids Can Do While They Wait

6. Make Waiting a Shared Experience

7. 10-Day Practice Plan

8. Celebrating Progress

9. Using Social Stories and Adapted Books

10. FAQs

Why Waiting Feels Hard for Autistic Children

Waiting is easier for children with autism when it is predictable.

Waiting is easier when life feels predictable. For many autistic children, uncertainty can spike anxiety—especially if “wait” has historically meant “maybe… later… who knows.” By making waiting visible, time-limited, and supported, we help kids feel safe enough to practice.

It’s also normal for ability to fluctuate day-to-day. A child may calmly wait a minute yesterday and feel done after 20 seconds today. Fatigue, hunger, sensory input, or stress all change how much waiting feels doable. Instead of viewing that as backtracking, it helps to see waiting as a flexible skill that grows stronger through repetition, not perfection.

Research supports using visual supports and predictable routines to help autistic children manage transitions and waiting (Steinbrenner et al., 2020). With gentle repetition, waiting becomes familiar and less stressful over time.

Big idea: Children aren’t born patient. They develop patience gradually when adults make waiting safe, clear, and predictable.

What this looks like in real life

Always begin by waiting for a very short amount of time so it does not feel overwhelming.

Let’s say your child walks up asking for their tablet.

On the first day, you calmly say, “Okay, it’s almost time,” and show the Wait picture. Count silently for about three seconds, then hand over the tablet right away. The next day, do the same but stretch to four seconds, then five, and so on.

Over time, those extra seconds add up—and waiting becomes a familiar, no-stress part of daily life.

How to Start Teaching Waiting Skills at Home or School

Start where your child already succeeds—even if that’s 1–5 seconds. I’ve worked with children who began at a single second, paired with laughter and quick turns. Those tiny, positive experiences are the bricks that build stamina later.

Guiding idea: After two days with several easy wins, add a few seconds. If it’s tough, shorten the time or make the activity more engaging. Progress won’t be linear; what matters is lots of short, successful practice.

Waiting Supports That Work: Visuals, Timers, and Gentle Language

Consistency builds trust. Use the same pieces so waiting feels familiar.

➡️ Download a free Wait Card here. You can print and laminate it, then use it during daily routines. Consistent visuals help children understand that waiting has a clear beginning and end.

Timer or Visual Countdown

Pick what feels soothing: a sand timer, digital timer, Time-Timer-style, or a countdown strip (remove dots one by one).

The goal is predictability, not the gadget.

You can say:

• “We’re waiting together. When the timer finishes, we can go to the car.”

• “You’re doing it—waiting so calmly.”

• “All done! You waited for the phone!”

Encouragement & Natural Follow-Through

Praise the effort and make sure the promised thing really happens. We’re building trust, not compliance.

This Waiting Skills Bundle includes a photo-based social story, an adapted book for interactive practice, printable visuals, simple games, worksheets, and reminder cards. The worksheets help kids think about what they can do while they wait—briefly count, look at a book, imagine a favorite show—so waiting feels purposeful, not empty.

Step-by-Step Plan: How to Go From Seconds to Minutes of Waiting

Many children with autism love numbers, if this is your child capitalize on this by using a timer that counts down as the child watches.

Think of this like a ladder; climb only when the last rung feels easy.

Step 1 (1–5 seconds)

Model a breath or two of waiting during a fun game. Immediate follow-through.

Step 2 (10 seconds)

Add a visual and short timer. Offer calm narration.

Step 3 (20 seconds)

Add a soothing action: hold a fidget, look at one book page, count together to three.

Step 4 (30–45 seconds)

Try natural moments: before snack, opening the door, or starting a song.

Step 5 (1–2 minutes)

Combine small waiting actions (count, breathe, squeeze a fidget) while watching a timer or countdown strip.

Step 6 (3–5 minutes)

Keep routines predictable; show what’s next with visuals. Gently fade extra help as confidence grows.

Short, positive practice beats long, stressful attempts every time.

If you’re new to visuals, see How to Use Picture Schedules to Promote Independence in Daily Routines for a clear step-by-step guide to getting started.

Children do better when waiting includes doable actions such as counting.

What Can Kids Do While They Wait? Practical Strategies

Children do better when waiting includes doable actions:

• Look at one picture in a book

• Count fingers or dots

• Squeeze a soft fidget / roll playdough

• Breathe: smell a flower → blow a candle

• Trace a shape on a card

  Hold a small wait token

• Hum a familiar line of a song

For more background on how social skill stories support self-regulation and everyday routines, see What Are Social Skill Stories?.

Make Waiting a Shared Family Experience

Normalize waiting by noticing moments everyone shares:

• Cookies baking in the oven

• A traffic light that’s still red

• A grocery line moving slowly

• A computer starting up

Point out times throughout the day when everyone is having to wait and model strategies during this time.

Narrate your strategies: “Its so hard to wait for these cookies to bake—let’s count in our heads until the timer beeps,” or “This red light is taking so long; I’m going to imagine I’m flying over the cars.” 

Kids learn that everyone waits—and there are friendly ways to pass the time.

10-Day Practice Plan to Build Waiting Stamina

Days 1–2: Introduce the Wait visual + 5-second timer during play (3–5 quick turns).

Day 3: 10 seconds; keep language simple and calm.

Day 4: Same time in two familiar settings.

Day 5: 15–20 seconds; offer a choice (book or fidget).

Day 6: 30 seconds inside a daily routine (snack line, door line).

Day 7: Keep praise brief; maintain predictability.

Day 8: 45–60 seconds; link two waiting actions (look at picture + squeeze fidget).

Day 9: 90 seconds in play and a routine.

Day 10: 2 minutes in a calm setting; start generalizing slowly.

Remember: some days will be shorter than others. As long as you practice often, ability grows.

Celebrating Progress Without Taking Data

For most families and classrooms, casual noticing is enough. The quantity of short practices matters more than exact duration.

Make light mental notes like, “She waited ~20 seconds before snack,” or “He stayed calm while the tablet loaded.” Those small wins compound.

Freebie: Download the Waiting Cards to use as a visual reminder that they are waiting and remind them of some easy strategies they can use

Use Social Stories and Adapted Books to Teach Waiting

Social Stories such as this one can help introduce different strategies and help explain why waiting is important.

A brief, reassuring waiting social story can preview what waiting looks like and how to handle it (look at a book, count to five, breathe, sing the abc's).

Adapted books such as this one are another fun way to practice remembering strategies for waiting.

If you prefer interactive practice, try an adapted book with movable pieces—kids “build” the waiting steps before doing them in real life.

You can write your own social story about waiting or purchase a waiting social story on ETSY or TPT that can be downloaded and printed immediately

For another example of how these stories help children visualize routines, see Handwashing Social Story—it models short waits and transitions in everyday tasks.

FAQs About Teaching Waiting to Autistic Children

How do I support a non-verbal child with waiting? Use consistent visuals, a timer, and shared gestures (flat hand for “wait”). Keep durations very short at first and pair with a predictable follow-through.

Experiment with different timers if your child seems resistant.

Is it okay to use rewards? Yes—especially natural ones (the turn, snack, or activity itself). We’re connecting waiting to predictable outcomes and warm encouragement.

When should we practice? During calm, playful times. Once confident, use the same supports in everyday routines.

What if timers are upsetting? Try a sand timer, cover the display, or use a countdown strip or short song. Predictability matters more than the exact tool.

Free Printable Wait Card

A simple hand-icon or WAIT card helps kids see the expectation. Keep one at home, one in class, and one on a lanyard.

Research

• Visual supports and schedules are well-established, helpful practices for autistic learners (NCAEP 2020; NPDC 2015).

• Social narratives/stories can support understanding of routines and expectations when kept short, concrete, and personalized (NCAEP 2020).

• Activity schedules and predictable routines reduce uncertainty and support regulation (Knight, Sartini, & Spriggs, 2015).

Worksheets can help children familiarize themselves with waiting stragegies.

Related Support Tools

• Free Wait Cards — quick visual reminder that waiting has a clear start and finish. (Insert download link.)

• Waiting Social Story — social story with realistic photos

• Waiting Adapted Book — short interactive story

• Waiting Poster Set— Poster with waiting strategies and reminder cards

• Waiting Worksheets and Games — A collection of worksheets and easy games and hands on activities to help children remember strategies for waiting

If waiting often feels stressful, know that you’re not alone—and small steps truly add up.

This bundle includes a variety of digital downloads to teach waiting skills.

Grab the Waiting Skills Bundle to get visuals, stories, adapted books, worksheets, and simple games that make waiting calmer and more predictable.