Size of the Problem: 7 Social Skill Games and Activities for Kids
A broken crayon. The wrong color cup. Someone else getting the first turn. Preschool and early elementary classrooms provide plenty of opportunities to practice problem solving. We rarely need to schedule extra problems into the day. They tend to show up
on their own.
But knowing that something went wrong is different from understanding that some problems are smaller and that there may be something you can do to take care of them.
Teaching the size of the problem can help children begin to recognize which difficulties they can probably do something about and which situations need an adult's attention right away. The hope is that children start to think, “This is upsetting, but there is something I can try.”
Discovering that they have options can be empowering. They may still feel disappointed, frustrated, or sad, while also learning that they can take a step toward making things better.
For autism social skills instruction, concrete examples and playful practice help make that connection clearer.
If you are looking for social skill games, big deal or little deal activities, or ways to teach big problem vs small problem, these eight activities provide different ways to practice. They include music, movement, picture discussions, sorting, puppets, and sensory play. You can try them with materials you already have at home or in your classroom.
Before we begin: these activities are practice in thinking, not memorizing rules about every possible event. Situations have context, and the same event can need different responses in different settings. Our goal is to help children pause, become calm enough to think—with support when needed—and consider what kind of solution or help a problem needs.
In This Post
What Does Size of the Problem Mean?
For young learners, I like to focus on what kind of help the situation needs.
A little problem is an everyday difficulty with something we may be able to try: use a different crayon, wipe up a small spill, find another game, or ask someone for support.
A big problem involves an urgent concern, such as someone being unsafe or seriously hurt. The child needs to get an adult's help right away.
In these activities, an ant represents a little problem and an elephant represents a big problem. The animals give children a concrete way to communicate their answer.
Some classrooms use the phrase big deal or little deal. Others use big problem vs small problem. Whichever words you choose, explain what they mean and connect them to an action. Labeling a problem is only the beginning.
Situation | What kind of help might it need? | A possible next step |
My crayon broke. | An everyday problem with a possible solution. | Use the pieces or choose another crayon. |
I wanted the red cup and got green. | Support with disappointment or a possible change. | Ask whether another cup is available or get help handling the disappointment. |
Someone is seriously hurt. | Adult help right away. | Tell an adult immediately. |
I cannot find my grown-up at the store. | Adult help right away. | Ask a store employee for help finding my grown-up. |
Start with clear examples. Save situations with missing details for discussion as children gain experience.
Little Problems Can Bring Big Feelings
This is the part I do not want to lose when teaching the size of the problem: a little problem can still feel awful.
A child who expected a particular cup or worked hard on a block tower may be genuinely distressed when things go differently. Saying, “That is just a little problem,” does not provide a solution, and it may sound like we are dismissing the child's experience.
Instead, try pairing acknowledgment with help:
“You really wanted your tower to stay up. It is upsetting when it falls. We can build it again, and I can help.”
The ant and elephant describe the situation's help needs. They do not tell children how much they are allowed to feel.
When a child is overwhelmed, offer support first. We can practice sorting scenarios later, when the child is ready to participate. There is no requirement to turn the middle of a difficult moment into a quiz.
Moving Beyond Big and Little Problems
Initially, it is often enough to introduce two broad questions: “Is this something I can probably take care of or try to improve?” and “Does this need an adult's attention right away?”
Children can still ask for support with the first kind of problem. We are helping them recognize options, rather than expecting them to manage everything alone.
As children grow in their understanding, we can introduce more nuance. Problems can be very small, small, medium, big, or very big. Some need time, several attempts, or another person's help without being an emergency. A disagreement with a friend might take more work than replacing a broken crayon, for example.
These categories are teaching tools, not fixed ratings that every child must agree on. For children with more language, discuss how the setting, available help, and possible consequences change a situation.
Consider the same problem in two settings: “I cannot find my shoes.” If a child is at home, with an adult nearby and no urgent need to leave, they can look in familiar places or ask for help searching. If the child cannot find their shoes while the family needs to leave the house immediately because of a fire, the situation needs adult attention right away. The child should get help leaving safely rather than keep searching.
You can ask, “What changed?” or “Why do we need a different plan this time?” The purpose of big problem vs small problem practice is to develop flexible thinking about the situation, not memorize that missing shoes always belong in one category.
Why Teach Problem Solving Through Activities?
Answering a picture card and applying a skill during a difficult moment are different tasks. Activities give us opportunities to model language, try solutions, and revisit examples before a real problem happens.
The National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations' guidance on teaching problem-solving skills recommends modeling the process in context, helping children use the steps, and giving descriptive feedback. It also highlights supporting skills, including asking for help and identifying emotions.
You can connect this practice with other social skills, too. Listening to a scenario, considering a response, and explaining a choice overlap with the pause-and-think practice in my post, Think It or Say It? 5 Social Filter Games and Activities for Kids.
Eight Size of the Problem Activities
1. Make Safari Sounds
Explain that children will use sound to show their choice: a little sound like a tiny ant for a little problem, or a big sound like an elephant for a big problem. These are pretend animal sounds; we are imagining the contrast between a tiny ant moving quietly and a large elephant making a stronger sound.
Show the animal pictures and practice both choices before reading scenarios:
Little problem—little ant sound: Tap a drum softly, gently tap rhythm sticks together, or tiptoe quietly.
Big problem—big elephant sound: Make a stronger drumbeat, tap rhythm sticks more firmly, or stomp like an elephant at a comfortable volume.
You might say, “If you think the problem needs an adult's help right away, show me your big elephant sound. If it is something we could probably try to fix or improve, show me your little ant sound.”
Ask everyone to become quiet, then read one short scenario. Pause to give children time to think before inviting the matching sound.
For example: “Your sleeve gets wet while you wash your hands.” Children might choose the soft ant sound. Then ask, “What could you do next?” They might suggest drying it, changing clothes, or asking for help.
For a clear urgent example, say, “There is a fire in the kitchen.” Children can choose the stronger elephant sound, then practice saying or indicating that they need an adult right away. Clarify that this is a game response; during a real emergency, they should seek help immediately.
This activity is fun to do with small drums or maracas for each child but can work equally well with stomping or tip toeing feet.
The learning connection: Children listen, make a choice, and discuss a response. The sound is a playful way to show their thinking.
2. Look at Pictures and Discuss the Problem
Choose pictures showing familiar difficulties and clear urgent situations. You can use printed cards, photographs, or simple drawings.
Give children time to look before asking:
What happened?
Is this an ant problem or an elephant problem?
What could the person do next?
Who could help?
Avoid expecting children to infer details that are not visible. A picture of someone sitting beside a bicycle might not show whether the person is hurt. Tell the child the intended scenario before asking them to classify it.
If a child chooses an unexpected answer, ask what they noticed. Their reasoning may make sense given the information they have.
The learning connection: These discussions turn big problem vs small problem practice into a conversation about evidence, choices, and help.
3. Play a Safari Board Game
Create a simple path with alternating ant and elephant spaces. Give each child a small animal toy, block, or other game piece.
Read a scenario during each turn. The player identifies the problem type, discusses a possible next step, and moves to the next matching animal. No die is needed.
For cooperative play, have animals wait at the end until everyone arrives. The group finishes its safari together.
You can use everyday examples first and add pretend safari scenarios later. Make it clear when a story is imaginary, especially if children interpret examples literally.
The learning connection: Social skill games provide repeated practice while also creating opportunities for taking turns and listening to peers.
4. Try a Big Problem/Little Problem Ball Toss
Place a basket in the middle of a small circle. Give one child a soft ball or beanbag.
Read a scenario and let the child say, point to, or otherwise indicate ant or elephant. Ask what the person could do next, then let the child try to make a basket with a ball and a basket that is in the center of the circle.
Retrieve the ball and pass it to the next player. Every child gets a toss, including children who need help answering.
A missed basket simply means retrieving the ball. We are practicing problem solving, not selecting the next basketball team.
The learning connection: The movement adds variety while the discussion remains focused on problem size and helpful responses.
5. Go on a Walk-the-Room Problem Hunt
Place scenario pictures around the room at accessible locations. Give children a recording sheet with ants and elephants, or two columns with the animal pictures at the top.
Social skill games provide repeated practice while also creating opportunities for taking turns and listening to peers. They can use crayons, stickers, or dot markers.
At each station, add one brief question: “Do you think this is more of an ant or an elephant problem?”
An adult or partner can accompany children to read scenarios. For children who prefer staying in one place, bring the cards to them.
The learning connection: The hunt provides movement, repeated examples, and different ways to show understanding.
6. Sort Pictures of Big and Little Problems
Choose photographs, drawings, or scenario cards showing a few clear problems. Set out two animal pictures, two mats, or two containers: one for ant/little problems and one for elephant/big problems.
Describe one situation at a time and invite children to put it with the group they think fits.
Ask them to explain or show why they chose it, using communication supports as needed.
Discuss a next step before moving to another picture. For example, a child who loses a game might choose to play again, take a break, or ask for support with disappointment.
Begin with just a few pictures. As children gain understanding, include a situation that needs more information and ask, “What else would we need to know?” You can keep an undecided picture between the groups while you discuss it.
For a fun twist, children can make their own sorting pockets. My Size of the Problem Games and Hands-On Activities resource includes ant and elephant pocket templates and problem pictures. Children decorate and assemble the pockets, then slide pictures into the pocket they choose. An adult can prepare the cutting and folding if needed.
The learning connection: Sorting gives children a concrete way to compare situations and discuss what kind of help each one needs.
7. Vote on Scenario Cards and Explain Why
Show a picture scenario card or read a short situation aloud. Give children time to think, then invite them to vote on whether they think it is a big or little problem.
Children can point to a choice, hold up an animal picture, use AAC, or say their answer. After voting, ask, “Why do you think that?” and “What could the person do next?” A child can explain by selecting a picture of a helpful action rather than speaking.
If children vote differently, explore their reasoning. One child may be imagining a detail that another child has not considered. Clarify what is happening and discuss whether more information would change the response. The vote starts a conversation; the majority does not decide what kind of help a situation needs.
For a playful way to vote, use elephant and ant finger puppets. The printable puppets in my activity resource let children hold up an elephant for a big problem or an ant for a little problem. The activity is easiest when an adult cuts out the animals and finger holes before children begin coloring.
The learning connection: Voting gives everyone a chance to show a choice, while the follow-up discussion helps children connect that choice to a reason and a possible solution.
Adaptations for Autistic Learners
When planning autism social skills activities, offer ways to participate that fit the children in front of you.
Use short scenarios. Begin with one clear event and add detail gradually.
Allow thinking time. Wait before repeating or rephrasing the question.
Offer visual choices. Children can point to an animal or choose between two possible next steps.
Accept different communication methods. Speech, AAC, signs, gestures, sorting, and puppet responses can all show understanding.
Adjust sensory demands. Offer quiet participation during music games and alternatives to sensory-bin materials.
Model asking for help. Include it among the possible responses to both little and big problems.
Watch for the difference between recognizing an animal and understanding the situation. A child may sort accurately but still need support choosing a next step. Another child may suggest a useful response without consistently using the ant-and-elephant labels.
Both observations tell us something useful about what to teach next.
Practice During Everyday Routines
After practicing through games, notice manageable opportunities during the day.
“The marker has no lid. What could we try?”
“We wanted the same toy. Who could help us make a plan?”
“Your paper tore. Would you like tape or another sheet?”
Model your own thinking, too: “I spilled a little water. I can get a towel.”
When tracking progress, record more than whether a child chose the expected animal. Notice whether they identified the problem, selected a useful response, asked for help, or needed a visual or adult model.
Ready-to-Use Materials and a Free Resource
You can do these activities with materials you already have, but if you would like the visuals prepared for you, my Size of the Problem Games and Hands-On Activities resource includes the seven activities described here, teacher scripts, lesson plans, visual directions, scenario materials, printables, and class and individual data sheets.
For broader instruction, my Autism Social Skills Curriculum brings together stories, visuals, worksheets, games, and hands-on activities.
If you would like to try one of my resources first, download the free 28-page Taking Turns Social Story. Taking turns gives children another familiar context for practicing waiting, communicating, and getting support when something is difficult.
Teaching the size of the problem takes repeated practice, and there are no absolute big-or-little labels that fit every version of an event. Context matters. A child's growing understanding should help them consider the details and adjust their response.
Ultimately, these social skill games are helping children practice a useful process: pause, find enough calm to think with support, consider what happened, and choose a possible solution or ask for help. They can feel upset and still discover that they have something they can try.
That is the empowering part. The goal is for children to become more confident in thinking, “What can I do about this, and who can help me?”
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