Autism and Thanksgiving: Navigating Thanksgiving with Picky Eaters

Thanksgiving can pose a unique challenge for parents of children with autism who struggle with picky eating habits. It's not uncommon for children on the spectrum to have strong food preferences, making holiday gatherings a potential battleground. As a parent, I understand this struggle all too well. My own child has spent years resisting anything beyond toast, saltine crackers, or popcorn, despite my unwavering encouragement, framing dinner as an episode of "Master Chef," food therapy, and too many attempts at bribery in different forms. Undoubtedly, gathering with a group of people, all coming together to relish a hearty meal, can pose unique challenges for families with children on the autism spectrum.

Why is Picky Eating Common in Children with Autism?

The reasons behind food selectivity in children with autism are complex and multifaceted. Sensory sensitivities, texture aversions, and routine-driven behaviors can all contribute to their reluctance to try new foods. Understanding these factors is crucial in finding effective strategies to cope with picky eating and in helping you maintain a positve attitude toward your child during special occasions like Thanksgiving.

Practical Solutions for a Stress-Free Thanksgiving Meal

Provide "Safe Foods"

Give your child a few options and have them choose 1-3 foods that they will definitely eat. At our house this is usually a plate of crackers and dinner rolls. Having "safe foods" amidst the variety can help them feel more comfortable and willing to engage with the other parts of the meal.

Involve Your Child in Meal Preparation and Meal Planning

Getting your child involved in the cooking process can make a world of difference. When they actively participate in preparing a meal, they become curious about the ingredients and techniques used. As they mix, chop, and create, they are gradually exposed to the smells, textures, and occasionally taste of unfamiliar foods. This hands-on experience not only fosters their curiosity but also boosts their confidence. When it's time to taste the dish they had a part in making, they are more inclined to try it. They have seen each ingredient solo and are therefore more likely to accept it mixed in an unfamiliar way. Involving them in the kitchen transforms mealtime into an exciting learning opportunity, encouraging them to be more receptive to different foods in a fun and engaging way.

Getting children involved in the preparations can go beyond the kitchen. Allowing them to help plan the menu and accompany you to the grocery store can be worthwhile. Though I know it may be the last thing you feel like doing when you are already overwhelmed with holiday preparations.

Collaboratively deciding what dishes to prepare not only gives them a sense of control but also sparks their interest in the upcoming festivities. As you stroll through the grocery aisles together, they learn about different ingredients, textures, and colors, enhancing their understanding of food. This shared experience not only fosters their independence but also strengthens your bond. By involving them in the entire process they are more generally more likely to be cooperative in the actual meal itself.

Exposure

Exposing autistic children to some of the foods that will likely to be served during Thanksgiving can be a helpful strategy in easing picky eating tendencies. Expose your child to these dishes a few times before the big day, allowing them to become accustomed to the textures and flavors. Additionally, consider experimenting with alternative versions of traditional dishes, such as cornbread stuffing instead of bread stuffing. Small tweaks like this can make a significant difference, opening the door to new preferences and making the holiday meal another way to gradually broaden food they consider they will consider trying. Remember, patience and persistence are key; each exposure is a step toward expanding their culinary horizons.

Explore Alternative Textures

Experiment with different textures within their preferred food group. If your child likes crunchy snacks, offer a variety of crispy foods that are similar to these during the thanksgiving meal.

Some examples could include.

1. Roasted Carrots and Roasted Sweet Potatoes B

2. Apple Slices and Pear Cubes

3. Green Beans and Snap Peas

4. Pita Chips and Apple Chips

5. Popcorn and Roasted Chickpeas

6. Rice Cakes and Cheese Crisps

7. Peanuts and Cashews, Almonds or Other Nuts

8. Granola and Pumpkin Seeds

9. Mashed Potatoes and Mashed Sweet Potatoes

10. Traditional Bread Stuffing and Cornbread stuffing

11. Roast Chicken and Roasted Turkey

12. Dinner Rolls and Stuffing

13. Roasted carrots and Candied Yams

By offering these similar yet varied texture options, you provide a range of choices for children with autism, encouraging them to explore new foods while sticking to the textures they prefer.

Handling Well-Meaning Relatives

I often find the most uncomfortable aspect of Thanksgiving meals when you have one or more children with autism, is dealing with the well-meaning but usually unsolicited advice from friends and relatives. During holiday gatherings, loved ones often offer suggestions or pressure your child to eat certain foods or more food.

In the moment, it can be difficult to know how to respond to these well-intentioned remarks. If you're anything like me, you might find yourself clamming up and later regretting not standing up for what you felt was right. Having a few phrases in mind ahead of time can be immensely helpful. By preparing responses beforehand, you can potentially avoid these situations and ensure a more positive and comfortable atmosphere for everyone involved. Here are a few suggestions to consider.

1. "Thank you for your concern. We're working on expanding his food choices at other times, but today, I just want him to enjoy your company."

2. "I appreciate your efforts. Right now, we're focusing on creating a positive mealtime environment."

3. "Your support means a lot to us. We have some specific strategies in place to work on his eating habits. Right now, I just want him to enjoy things at his own pace."

4. "We're making progress at our own speed. Today, I want him to feel relaxed and enjoy the family gathering. We're saving our food challenges for later."

5. "I understand your concern, but today, let's focus on celebrating togetherness. His eating habits are a work in progress, and we appreciate your understanding."

Embracing Progress and Self-Compassion

Despite our best efforts, it's essential to recognize that progress might come at its own pace. Your child's journey with food is unique, and every small achievement deserves celebration. If your child transitions from juice to chocolate milk, that's a victory, no matter how minor it may seem to others. Remember, it's not a reflection of your parenting or your child's character. Sometimes, picky eating is a fundamental aspect of their neurological makeup.

Conclusion

This Thanksgiving, as you navigate the challenges of picky eating, be kind to yourself. Embrace the progress, no matter how small, and revel in the victories, however unconventional they may appear. Your child's growth is a testament to your unwavering love and support. Enjoy your Thanksgiving feast, savor the positive moments, and let go of unnecessary worries about what others might think. Your child's journey is unique, and their successes, no matter how unconventional, are cause for celebration. Remember, you are doing an incredible job, and your child's progress, no matter how gradual, is a testament to your dedication and love.

Additional resources

Looking for some additional resources you can purchase to help your child navigate Thanksgiving? Check these out.

Thanksgiving Day Autism Social Story

Thanksgiving Table Manners Adapted Interactive Book

Fall Early Learner Toddler Preschool Worksheets

Could you use a free 20-page social story about taking turns?