How Do I Choose the Right Homeschool Goals for My Autistic Child?
When you begin homeschooling an autistic child, it is surprisingly easy to end up with far too many goals. You may have academic standards from your state, recommendations from therapists, unfinished IEP goals, skills listed in an assessment, and a growing stack of workbooks and printables. Before long, your homeschool day can become filled with disconnected activities without a clear sense of which skills matter most.
The goal is not to work on everything your child cannot do yet.
The goal is to identify the skills that will make the most meaningful difference in your child’s ability to communicate, participate, make choices, stay safe, build relationships, and become increasingly independent.
That will look different for every autistic child.
Table of Contents
Start With Your Child’s Real Life
Look Beyond Academic Goals
Choose Goals That Increase Communication
Prioritize Safety Without Teaching Blind Compliance
Include Independence and Daily Living Skills
Consider Regulation Before Increasing Demands
Choose Social Goals Carefully
Build on Strengths and Interests
Determine Your Child’s Current Starting Point
Narrow Your List
Turn Priorities Into Observable Goals
Practice Skills During Real Routines
Review Goals Regularly
What If You Still Aren’t Sure Where to Begin?
Start With Your Child’s Real Life
Before looking through a curriculum or assessment, think about what is happening during your family’s actual day.
Ask yourself:
Which parts of the day are hardest for my child?
When does my child need the most adult help?
What is my child trying to communicate but unable to express clearly?
Which skills would reduce frustration or increase independence?
Are there situations that create a safety concern?
What would allow my child to participate more fully in family or community activities?
What does my child want to learn or do more independently?
Which skills would make everyday life easier or more enjoyable for my child?
A meaningful goal often becomes obvious when you look at routines instead of worksheets.
For example, identifying the letters of the alphabet may be an appropriate goal for one child. For another child, learning to ask for help, communicate that something hurts, use the toilet, tolerate a necessary change, or prepare a simple snack may have a much greater immediate impact.
This does not mean academic learning is unimportant. It means academics should be considered alongside communication, regulation, relationships, safety, and independence—not automatically placed ahead of them.
Professional guidance for early intervention similarly emphasizes outcomes that fit family priorities, strengthen everyday routines, and improve participation in meaningful activities. Although homeschoolers are not necessarily writing an IFSP or IEP, the same basic principle is useful: goals should lead to practical changes in the child’s daily life. (ECTA Center)
Look Beyond Academic Goals
Traditional homeschool planning often begins with questions such as:
Which math curriculum should we use?
What should my child be reading at this age?
How much writing should we complete each day?
Are we keeping up with grade-level standards?
Those questions matter, but they are only part of an autistic child’s education.
Depending on your child’s individual needs, homeschool goals may also address:
Functional communication
Self-advocacy
Emotional regulation
Daily living skills
Personal safety
Play and leisure
Social interaction
Flexibility and problem-solving
Motor skills
Community participation
Executive-functioning skills
Academic learning
You do not need to choose between teaching academics and teaching functional skills.
Many lessons can support both.
Following a visual recipe can include reading, sequencing, counting, measuring, fine-motor skills, communication, and independence. Planning a trip to the store can include writing a list, identifying money, locating items, waiting, asking for help, and coping when something is unavailable.
For some autistic children, learning through meaningful activities is considerably more successful than completing page after page of unrelated work.
Choose Goals That Increase Communication
Communication goals are often among the most valuable goals you can choose.
Communication is much broader than speech. A child may communicate through spoken words, gestures, signs, pictures, writing, a communication device, or a combination of methods.
Useful beginning goals might include learning to:
Request a preferred item or activity
Reject or say no
Ask for help
Ask for a break
Indicate pain or discomfort
Make a choice
Tell someone that something is wrong
Gain another person’s attention
Answer basic personal or safety questions
Share an idea, interest, or experience
The most important communication goal may not be producing a longer sentence. It may be gaining a reliable way to communicate something that currently leads to frustration, distress, guessing, or dependence on adults.
When selecting a goal, ask:
If my child learns this skill, will it give them more control over what happens to them?
A goal such as independently requesting a break may be more immediately useful than naming 50 picture cards. Naming pictures can still be valuable, particularly for building vocabulary, but it should connect to meaningful communication whenever possible.
Prioritize Safety Without Teaching Blind Compliance
Safety goals may need to take priority when a child:
Leaves safe areas unexpectedly
Cannot provide identifying information
Does not recognize common hazards
Cannot communicate pain or illness
Has difficulty remaining near a caregiver in public
Cannot seek help when separated
Engages in actions that could cause immediate injury
However, safety should not be confused with unquestioning obedience.
Teaching a child to follow every adult direction can make them more vulnerable. Autistic children also need to learn that they can say no, move away, ask questions, request help, and tell a trusted adult when something feels wrong.
A useful safety goal is specific to the situation. Instead of a broad goal such as “The child will comply with adult directions,” you might work toward:
Stopping at the curb with an adult
Responding to a designated safety word
Showing or stating identifying information when lost
Asking before leaving the yard
Finding a trusted helper in a public place
Communicating “stop,” “no,” or “I need help”
The goal is to increase safety and self-advocacy—not to make the child easier for adults to control.
Include Independence and Daily Living Skills
Daily living skills can make an enormous difference to both the child and the entire family.
Depending on the child’s age and current abilities, priorities might include:
Dressing
Toileting
Handwashing
Brushing teeth
Preparing food
Cleaning up
Following a daily routine
Keeping track of belongings
Completing simple household responsibilities
Using money
Participating in community errands
Managing menstrual care or other personal-care routines
Begin with the tasks that occur frequently and are important to your child’s daily life.
If getting dressed requires 30 minutes of prompting every morning, increasing independence within that routine may be more helpful than adding another worksheet to the homeschool schedule.
Break larger routines into smaller skills. “Gets dressed independently” may be too broad at first.
Your child might begin by:
Finding the clothes shown on a visual schedule.
Putting on one item independently.
Completing the routine with verbal reminders.
Following a picture sequence with less adult help.
Completing the entire routine independently.
My article about Teaching Autism Self-Help Skills from ABLLS-R in a Homeschool Program provides more ideas for identifying and teaching skills within everyday routines.
Consider Regulation Before Increasing Demands
Sometimes a child appears unable or unwilling to complete homeschool activities because the goals are too difficult. Other times, the primary barrier is regulation.
A child who is overwhelmed by noise, uncomfortable clothing, hunger, anxiety, fatigue, unpredictable transitions, or an excessive number of demands may not be available for learning.
Before making “completing more work” the goal, consider whether your child first needs support to:
Recognize that they are becoming overwhelmed
Communicate a need for a break
Access helpful sensory supports
Use a calming or regulating strategy
Understand what will happen next
Transition between activities
Recover after a difficult experience
Participate for a shorter, more manageable period
Regulation goals should not require a child to hide distress or appear calm for the comfort of adults. The purpose is to help the child understand their needs, communicate those needs, and access support.
Choose Social Goals Carefully
Social skills can be important, but they should be selected with the same care as every other goal.
Avoid choosing a goal simply because a behavior looks unusual. Eye contact, harmless stimming, preferred styles of play, and differences in body language do not automatically need to be changed.
Instead, prioritize social goals that help your child:
Communicate boundaries
Enter or leave an interaction
Ask another child to play
Take turns during a preferred activity
Recognize when someone says no
Solve a disagreement
Ask for clarification
Share an idea or interest
Notice when another person may need help
Maintain a conversation in a way that works for them
Negotiate or compromise without giving up important boundaries
The purpose of teaching social skills is not to make an autistic child appear less autistic. It is to give the child more tools for communicating, forming relationships, navigating misunderstandings, and participating when they want to participate.
If you are unsure which early social skills your child has already developed, a preschool and kindergarten social-skills checklist can help you identify possible starting points. A checklist should generate ideas—not create an obligation to teach every item in order.
Build on Strengths and Interests
Goal selection should not focus exclusively on deficits.
Your child’s strengths and interests can tell you:
What motivates them
How they learn best
Which activities help them regulate
Where they already feel competent
What may become a meaningful hobby or future skill
How new skills can be introduced successfully
A child who loves maps might practice reading, directions, community safety, planning, and conversation through maps. A child interested in animals might work on research, writing, pretend play, categorization, daily-care routines, or visiting a veterinary clinic.
Interests do not always need to be used as a reward for completing less-preferred work. They can be part of the learning itself.
Your homeschool does not have to resemble a traditional classroom to provide a meaningful education.
Determine Your Child’s Current Starting Point
Once you identify a possible priority, determine what your child can already do.
This is often called establishing a baseline.
For example, before choosing an “asking for help” goal, observe:
Does your child currently ask for help in any way?
Does this happen independently or only after a prompt?
Does your child ask certain people but not others?
Can they ask during familiar activities?
What happens when the usual method does not work?
Do they recognize when help is needed?
Your answers will help you select the next realistic step.
Assessments such as the ABLLS-R can help families notice skills across communication, learning, self-help, academic, and motor areas. However, an assessment contains many possible skills. It should help you identify patterns and gaps—not become a checklist that dictates your entire homeschool program. See these blog posts for more information about the ABLLS-R
Similarly, an IEP typically includes information about a child’s current academic and functional performance, measurable goals, and how progress will be monitored. (IRIS Center)
You can use this same basic sequence at home:
Identify what your child can currently do.
Choose an important next skill.
Decide how you will teach and practice it.
Determine how you will recognize progress.
Narrow Your List
One of the hardest parts of goal selection is deciding what not to work on right now.
A long assessment may identify dozens—or hundreds—of skills your child has not yet mastered. Trying to address all of them at once usually results in scattered teaching and an exhausted family.
For each possible goal, ask:
Will this improve my child’s safety?
Will it increase communication or self-advocacy?
Will it increase independence?
Will it reduce a recurring source of frustration?
Will it help my child participate in something important?
Is this goal important to my child or family?
Is my child ready for the next step?
Can we practice it naturally and consistently?
Will this skill open the door to other important skills?
A goal does not need to meet every criterion. However, you should be able to explain why it matters.
You might then choose a small, balanced group of priorities, such as:
One communication goal
One independence or self-help goal
One regulation or flexibility goal
One social or participation goal
One or two academic goals
This is only a possible framework—not a required formula. Some children will need a stronger focus in one area for a period of time.
Six carefully selected goals that receive meaningful practice are usually more useful than 25 goals that appear briefly in a binder.
Turn Priorities Into Observable Goals
Once you have chosen a priority, describe what progress will actually look like.
“Improve communication” is important, but it is difficult to teach or measure because it is too broad.
A more specific goal might be:
During familiar daily activities, the child will independently request help using speech, a gesture, a picture, or AAC in four out of five observed opportunities.
Instead of:
Improve flexibility.
You might write:
When a familiar activity changes, the child will choose a taught support—such as checking the visual schedule, asking a question, requesting a break, or choosing an alternative—with adult support in four out of five opportunities.
The exact numbers are less important than making the skill clear enough that you can recognize change.
A useful homeschool goal generally tells you:
What the child will do
When or where the skill will be used
What type of support is allowed
How you will know the skill is becoming more consistent
Goals can also recognize multiple valid forms of communication. If the important skill is asking for help, the child should not have to use speech when an effective gesture, sign, picture, or communication device accomplishes the same purpose.
Practice Skills During Real Routines
A skill is not fully useful if a child can demonstrate it only at the homeschool table.
Practice new skills in the situations where your child will actually need them.
For example:
Goal | Possible Practice Opportunities |
Asking for help | Opening a container, finding a missing item, completing a household task |
Waiting | Preparing food, taking turns in a game, waiting briefly at a store |
Toileting | Regular bathroom routines throughout the day |
Flexibility | Small changes in materials, routes, foods, games, or schedules |
Compromise | Choosing a family activity, sharing materials, playing with a sibling |
Following directions | Cooking, cleaning, crafts, outdoor play, and community activities |
Conversation | Meals, car rides, shared interests, family visits, and community groups |
Direct teaching, visuals, adapted books, games, and worksheets can all help introduce or practice a skill. The final goal, however, is for the skill to become useful beyond the teaching material.
Review Goals Regularly
A homeschool goal is not a permanent commitment.
Review your child’s goals periodically and ask:
Is this skill improving?
Is the goal still important?
Are we seeing progress in real life?
Does my child use the skill with different people and in different places?
Is the goal too difficult or too broad?
Does my child need a different support or communication method?
Has another need become more urgent?
Is the goal creating unnecessary stress?
Has my child shown us that a different goal matters more?
A lack of progress does not automatically mean your child is refusing to learn. The skill may need to be broken into smaller steps, taught differently, practiced in a more meaningful context, or postponed while a more foundational need is addressed.
Progress monitoring does not need to take over your homeschool day. Brief notes, a simple checklist, occasional work samples, or recording the level of prompting needed may provide enough information to help you make decisions.
What If You Still Aren’t Sure Where to Begin?
Start with the part of your child’s day that is creating the greatest barrier to communication, safety, autonomy, participation, or family life.
Then choose one small skill that could make that situation easier.
You do not need to recreate a special education classroom at home. You also do not need to turn every moment into therapy.
A thoughtful autism homeschool curriculum should provide structure and support while leaving room for your child’s interests, energy, communication, regulation, and individual pace.
The right goals are not necessarily the ones that look most impressive on paper. They are the ones that help your child communicate more effectively, participate more fully, exercise greater autonomy, and build skills they can use in everyday life.
Free Social-Skills Checklist
Not sure which early social skills your child has already developed or what might come next?
Download my free preschool and kindergarten social-skills checklist to identify strengths and possible teaching priorities. Use it as a starting point rather than a list of skills your child is required to master.
FREE SOCIAL-SKILLS CHECKLIST HERE
Additional Resources
If you would like more structure after identifying your child’s goals, these resources may help:
ABLLS-R resources for identifying and teaching communication, learning, and self-help skills
Social-skills assessment and progress-monitoring materials for identifying current skills and tracking growth
Everyday Social Skills Level 1 Curriculum with sequenced instruction, realistic photographs, adapted books, games, activities, data collection, and sample IEP goals
Comments