Why You Should Try a Social Story with Your Autistic Child

Why You May Want to Use Social Skill Stories with Your Autistic Child

Social skill stories can be a great tool for parents and teachers of autistic children. These stories explain everyday situations, social skills, and even tricky concepts in a simple, visual way.

While they share similarities with traditional "social stories," social skill stories offer more flexibility and can be easily adapted to meet the needs of each child. Not only do they help children learn new skills, but they also provide much-needed reassurance, especially for children with anxiety.

In this post, we’ll explore what social skill stories are, why they work, and practical ways to use them with your child.

What Are Social Stories?

Social stories are slightly different than social skill stories. Social Stories were first created by Carol Gray in the 1990s to help autistic children understand social situations. These stories follow a specific structure, using positive, non-directive language and focusing on the child’s perspective.

What Are Social Skill Stories?

Social skill stories are a more adaptable version of social stories. They don’t follow rigid guidelines and can be tailored to fit the child’s needs, whether that means writing in the third person or using a more direct approach when necessary.

Social skill stories generally describe a situation and ask a child to reflect on feelings and describe how different actions may impact other people.

These stories are especially effective when paired with realistic pictures, which help children with autism or auditory processing issues understand confusing or abstract concepts.

For example, if a child is struggling to understand why we say "thank you" after receiving a gift or how to make a friend during recess, a social skill story with realistic images can help break down the situation step by step. Many children with autism are strong visual learners, and the combination of verbal explanations and images makes it easier for them to grasp these social nuances.

How Social Skill Stories Can Help with Anxiety

Many children with autism experience anxiety, especially when they face uncertain or unfamiliar situations. This anxiety often leads to a need for constant reassurance. For example, a child might repeatedly ask questions like, "Will the bus be here when the bell rings?" They need to hear the answer over and over again to feel safe. While offering verbal reassurance is important, it can become exhausting for parents and teachers to provide this constant feedback.

Social skill stories can help ease this burden by offering the reassurance the child needs. When a story clearly outlines what will happen, it serves as a reliable, consistent source of information the child can turn to. Rather than needing to ask an adult the same question repeatedly, they can revisit the story for comfort and reassurance.

Sensitivity and Social Skill Stories

Many children with autism are sensitive to how feedback is delivered, especially when it comes to personal care or social expectations. A direct statement from an adult, like "You need to wear deodorant every day," can feel like an attack, especially for children with conditions like Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) or Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), which are more common in autistic children than in the general population.

Social skill stories provide a non-directive way to introduce these concepts. For instance, rather than telling a child they need to wear deodorant, a story might explain why wearing deodorant every day is important in a non-judgmental, factual way. This approach can make the child more receptive to the idea, as it feels less threatening and allows them to process the information on their own terms.

Why Social Skill Stories Work for Autistic Children

Social skill stories offer several benefits, especially for children with autism, who may struggle with understanding social expectations or managing anxiety.

• Visual learning: Many autistic children are visual learners. Pairing simple language with realistic pictures helps these children understand social situations, behaviors, and expectations more easily. For example, showing an image of two children sharing toys alongside a simple explanation can help clarify the concept of turn-taking.

• Providing reassurance: Social skill stories provide the structure and predictability that children with anxiety often crave. The stories can be revisited multiple times, offering the child consistent reassurance about what to expect. Verbal reassurances disappear as soon as they are spoken but visual images remain as long as they are viewed.

• Gentle guidance: Social skill stories offer a non-directive way to teach sensitive topics, such as personal hygiene or how to make friends. This gentle approach is often better received by children who may otherwise feel defensive or anxious about being told what to do.

  
  

When to Use Social Skill Stories

These stories can be used in a variety of situations to support your child’s understanding and comfort level. Here are a few examples:

• Social situations: Social skill stories can help explain everyday social interactions, like why we say "thank you" or how to introduce yourself to a new classmate.

• New experiences: Use social skill stories to prepare your child for unfamiliar events, like a visit to the doctor, a birthday party, or starting a new school.

• Sensitive topics: If your child is resistant to feedback about hygiene or social behaviors, a story that gently explains the importance of these practices may help them become more open to the idea.

  
  

How to Create a Social Skill Story

Creating your own social skill story is straightforward, and it allows you to personalize the story to your child’s needs. Here’s a simple guide to get started:

1. Choose a scenario: Focus on a situation where your child needs extra support, like making friends or dealing with transitions.

2. Write in simple language: You don’t have to stick to a specific format. Whether you use first, second, or third person, keep the language simple and clear.

3. Experiment with different images: Consider stories with realistic photographs, cartoon characters, or simple line drawings to see which images your child seems drawn to or most interested looking at. For example, if the story is about waiting for the bus, include a picture of a realistic photo of a bus at a school stop, cartoon images of a bus, or draw an image of people waiting by a bus on a dry erase board or notebook. These visuals help reinforce the verbal information and make abstract concepts easier to understand.

4. Break it down: Simplify the situation into steps. If the story is about wearing deodorant, you might explain how putting on deodorant in the morning is part of getting ready for the day and why it helps.

5. End with encouragement: Finish the story with a positive outcome to help your child feel more confident about the situation. Always include ideas of how situations can be or might be handled and what the consequences of actions will be for those around the child.

   
   

Practical Tips for Using Social Skill Stories

• Start with key areas: Focus on the areas where your child struggles the most, such as social skills or transitions. This will allow them to quickly benefit from the reassurance and guidance the stories provide.

• Don't Force: Keep the stories handy and look for opportunities when your child seems interested or receptive to the information. Sometimes it is not best to offere the information during the actual situation, though other children may find information very helpful at these times.

• Personalize the story: Incorporate your child’s favorite characters or settings to keep them engaged. The more personalized the story is, the more likely they are to connect with it.

• Pair with real-life practice: After reading a story about making friends, for example,

  
  

practice this skill during playdates or recess. Reinforce the steps from the story when the situation comes up.

Conclusion: How Social Skill Stories Can Help

Social skill stories offer an effective and flexible way to support autistic children in understanding the world around them.

By pairing verbal explanations with realistic pictures, these stories cater to strong visual learners and provide the reassurance that many anxious children need.

Whether you’re addressing sensitive topics, preparing for a new experience, or simply teaching everyday social skills, social skill stories can help make these concepts more approachable and less intimidating for your child.