How to Handle Potty Training Fears in Autism

It’s a moment many parents dread—you finally decide it’s time to start potty training, and your child panics at the mere sight of the toilet.

Some kids cry. Others run away or cling to diapers for dear life. And if your child is autistic, has anxiety, or struggles with sensory processing, that fear can feel even more intense.

You are not alone. Potty training fears in autism are incredibly common—and totally valid. The good news? There are gentle, supportive ways to help your child work through their fear and eventually feel confident using the toilet.

Get your free Potty Training Social Story Coloring Book here

📀 Get your free Potty Training Social Story Coloring Book here 🛒

Need more visual support?

Check out our printable toilet training tools here

Why Do Autistic Children Fear the Toilet?

For many kids, the toilet is loud, unpredictable, and just plain strange. But for autistic children or those with sensory sensitivities, these experiences can be overwhelming.

Think about it from their point of view:

• Water disappears suddenly with a scary sound

• The seat feels cold or unstable

• You’re asked to pause play and try something unfamiliar

• Accidents are uncomfortable

• Adults sometimes show frustration around toileting

Children with autism or sensory processing issues may also struggle with:

• The echo or flush noise

• Bright bathroom lighting

• The feel of toilet paper or underwear

• Fear of falling into the bowl

Children with autism or sensory processing issues may struggle with sounds or sensations in the bathroom.

🧠 Research shows that sensory processing differences are common in children with autism and can directly impact toileting success (Cermak et al., 2010).

Signs Your Autistic Child May Be Afraid of the Potty

Some children clearly express fear—but others show it in more subtle ways. Watch for signs like:

• Crying or hiding when it’s time to go to the bathroom

• Asking for a diaper or refusing to wear underwear

• Holding in pee or poop for long periods

• Physical resistance (kicking, screaming, arching back)

• Avoiding bathrooms or refusing to sit on the toilet

• Requesting privacy or insisting they can’t go

How to Gently Handle Potty Training Fears in Autism

First and foremost: be patient. This fear is real to your child, even if it seems irrational to you. Responding with calm reassurance builds trust and lays the foundation for success.

Here’s what helps:

• 🧸 Validate their feelings: “It’s okay to be nervous. The toilet seems new and different.” This is important even if your child is non-verbal.

• ⌐ Go slowly: Focus on helping your child feel safe, not rushing into training.

• 🪎 Normalize the experience: Let them see siblings or same-age peers using the bathroom.

• 💫 Keep the mood light: Sing a silly potty song or read a story to ease tension.

Sensory-Friendly Strategies to Ease Potty Training Anxiety

1. Desensitize Step-by-Step

Break down the potty experience into small, manageable steps. Gradually build comfort over time.

Try this gentle progression:

• Walk into the bathroom

• Sit on the closed lid (fully dressed)

• Sit on an open seat (still dressed)

• Sit on the toilet with no pants (no expectation to go)

• Try flushing together

• Practice sitting for a few seconds after meals

• Celebrate progress—no matter how small!

✨ This method is often used in desensitization therapies and is especially helpful for autistic children with routine-based fears (Koegel et al., 2012).

2. Use Visual Supports

Visuals create structure, reduce uncertainty, and help children understand what to expect.

Helpful tools include:

• 📖 Social stories (like this free coloring book version)

• 🚿 Picture-based potty schedules

• 📸 Real photos of bathroom steps

• ↺ First/Then boards (“First sit on toilet, then read a book”)

3. Create a Calm Bathroom Environment

Make the space feel safe and soothing:

• Soft lighting or a nightlight

• A stool for feet support

• Fun toilet seat insert with favorite characters

• Flush after child leaves (if noise-sensitive). Flushing the toilet can always be addressed later. It is best to focus on one new skill at a time.

• Play music or use white noise machine

• If all else fails, this is a great time to let your little autistic loved one, lose themselves in their favorite YouTube videos.

4. Incorporate Special Interests

Use your child’s favorite themes to make potty time fun:

• Let a stuffed animal or small figurine go potty first. For instance, if your child loves dinosaurs or trains pretend like the dinosaur or train is going to the bathroom, then have the train or dinosaur ask child if they can show them how.

• Read stories about characters learning to use the toilet. If possible, use realistic photos or if you have extra time and energy make a story with their favorite character or interests, such as Pokémon or unicorns.

• Let your child color and assemble a potty-themed mini book

📋 👉 Download your free Potty Training Social Story Coloring Book here [insert link]

Visual Supports That Help with Toilet Training in Autism

 Communication cards, such as– “help,” “flush,” or “all done” can be helpful for both verbal and non-verbal children.

These tools can ease communication and reduce stress:

• ✅ Mini social stories – Reduce fear and explain steps

• ✅ Communication cards – Let your child say “help,” “flush,” or “all done” without words

• ✅ Visual schedules – Help with sequencing and routine

• ✅ Reward charts – Motivate small wins

• ✅ Toilet timers or potty watches – Build consistency without pressure

When to Pause Toilet Training or Get Support

Sometimes it’s best to take a break. If your child is highly distressed, avoiding accidents by holding it in, or experiencing constipation or UTIs, it’s okay to pause and try again later.

You may also want to consult:

• A special education teacher

• An occupational therapist (for sensory-related issues)

• A behavior therapist familiar with autism and toilet training

🧠 According to a 2020 review by Dalrymple & Ruble, delaying toilet training and seeking professional support can lead to better long-term outcomes in children with autism who exhibit significant toilet-related anxiety.

Final Thoughts

If your child is afraid of the potty, it’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign they need more support. With patience, visuals, and gentle steps, you can help your child move from fear to confidence.

You’re doing great, even on the hard days. Trust your child’s pace, and keep offering calm, consistent support.

I’m cheering you on every step of the way 💛

References

• Cermak, S. A., Curtin, C., & Bandini, L. G. (2010). Food selectivity and sensory sensitivity in children with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 110(2), 238–246.

• Koegel, L. K., Matos-Freden, R., Lang, R., & Koegel, R. L. (2012). Interventions for children with fear of toileting. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 42(6), 1213–1217.

• Dalrymple, N. J., & Ruble, L. A. (2020). Toileting training in autism spectrum disorder: A review of current practices. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 72, 101518.