How Social Stories Help Autistic Kids Enjoy Holidays (Even When They’re Overwhelmed)

Holidays can bring out the best—and the hardest—moments for families. There are lights, parties, parades, costumes, presents, and lots of changes to the daily routine. For many autistic children, all of this excitement can quickly become overwhelming.

If you’ve ever skipped a celebration because it felt like too much, you’re not alone. But there’s hope. With the right tools—like visual supports and social skill stories—you can help your child feel calmer, more prepared, and maybe even enjoy the holidays.

Why Holidays Can Be Overwhelming for Autistic Kids

Even joyful events can cause distress for autistic children. Holidays often involve:

• Sudden changes to daily routines

• Bright lights, music, or crowded rooms

• New social expectations and interactions

• Unclear or confusing traditions

  Anyone else think it’s kind of wild to dress up like a skeleton and demand candy from your neighbors?

  
  

Even joyful events can cause distress for autistic children with sensory sensitivities.

And let’s be real: parents are often not at their best because they are bracing for every possible worst-case scenario. Costume refusal? Meltdown in the car? Loud pop from a balloon just as your child settles in? Yep. We’ve imagined them all.

Many autistic kids thrive on routine and predictability. When that goes out the window, even the “fun” parts of a holiday can feel really hard.

What Are Social Stories (and What Do I Do Differently)?

Social stories were originally developed by Carol Gray as structured, first-person narratives that teach social understanding. They’re a fantastic tool for helping kids navigate new situations like doctor visits, bus rides… or chaotic holiday parties.

Over the years, I’ve found that many of the children I’ve worked with appreciate the clarity and predictability of social stories—but often prefer something a little less formal. They respond best when the tone feels more conversational, the language is gentle, and the story includes space for their thoughts and feelings.

So I gradually shifted to using what I call "social skill stories." These still walk children through tricky or unfamiliar situations, but:

• They’re usually less directive

• They often use third-person language (“some kids…” instead of “I…”)

• They include questions to help kids reflect or engage

• They aim to feel like a supportive conversation—not just a script

You can absolutely try different approaches and see what works best for your child. Some love first-person, step-by-step guides. Others do better with open-ended stories that invite discussion. There’s no one right way—just the way that feels most helpful.

How Social Skill Stories Support Holiday Success

Stories—whether classic social stories or your own custom version—can:

• Preview what’s coming in a clear, visual way

• Explain the "why" behind traditions (like giving gifts or saying thank you)

• Ease fears about noise, crowds, or unfamiliar food

• Provide coping tools—like taking a break or using a help card

• Build independence so you’re not repeating directions 10 times

With visuals and gentle language, stories create a mental roadmap—especially helpful for kids who are non-speaking or have trouble processing verbal directions on the spot.

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mage description: Child pointing to a social story image of someone trick-or-treating — using visuals to prepare for Halloween.

Tips for Using Social Skill Stories Around the Holidays

• Introduce the story a few days or weeks before the event

• Read it more than once and at different times of day

• Observe what your child engages with (real photos, clip art, etc.)

• Use questions, even with non-verbal kids:

  • “What part do you think will be fun?”

  • “What can we do if it gets too loud?”

  • Offer two picture choices to point to ("home" or "party")

Hint: Laminate a small version or put it on a ring for easy access in the car or during transitions.

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mage description: Parent reading a holiday social story to child before a family event.

When Are Kids Most Receptive to Social Skill Stories?

Social stories work best when your child is:

• Calm and alert

• Resting, snuggling, or doing a quiet activity

• Asking about the upcoming event

• In a routine moment (like bedtime or after lunch)

Try reading the story during comforting activities like rocking or swinging.

Tip: For non-verbal kids, signs of engagement might include pointing, smiling, or turning the page.

What Not to Do When Using Social Stories

• Don’t try to “fix” behavior by reading a story during a meltdown

• Don’t treat it as a lecture or punishment

• Don’t force it when your child is overwhelmed

• Don’t dismiss fears with "Everyone loves parties!"

Think of social skill stories as gentle guides, not checklists. Let them open the door to connection and confidence.

Free & Paid Social Skill Stories You Can Use Today

Halloween

Halloween Social Story with Real Photos

Winter Holidays

Holiday Social Story – Celebrating Different Traditions

Mother’s Day

What Is Mother’s Day? Social Story

Free Resource

Download a Free Halloween Mini Story

More Ways to Support Autistic Kids During Holidays

• Visual schedules to outline the day

• Headphones or sensory tools

• Break areas with clear access

• PECS-style cards to say “help,” “stop,” or “all done”

• Favorite toys or comfort items for transitions

Printable Resources That Help with Potty Training

Final Thoughts: Celebrate the Holidays Their Way

There’s no one right way to celebrate the holidays—especially when supporting an autistic child. Whether you use traditional social stories or more flexible social skill stories like mine, the goal is the same:

Help your child feel seen, safe, and supported.

If your child skips the costume, waves instead of hugging, or watches the party from the edge of the room—that counts. They’re participating in their way.

Let’s create meaningful holiday moments that fit them, not the other way around.

Try One Today:

• Download a Free Halloween Mini Story

• Explore the Full Holiday Story Collection