How Do I Teach My Autistic Child to Share? Practical Strategies for Social Skills and SEL in Preschool & Kindergarten

TL;DR Summary

• Sharing is one of the most critical early social skills but can be especially hard for autistic children.

• Begin small: less-preferred items, short sharing times, and with adults first.

• Use visuals like wait mats, token boards, and worksheets to make sharing concrete.

• Teach different ways to share (taking turns, dividing, using together, trading).

• Reinforce sharing with praise, bracelets, or sticker/token boards.

• Use social stories, adapted books, and worksheets to prepare children before real-life practice.

Table of Contents

1. Why Sharing Matters So Much in Early Childhood

2. Start Small: Setting Kids Up for Success

3. Make Sharing Visual

4. Model and Label Sharing

5. Different Ways to Share

6. Reinforcement: Making Sharing Rewarding

7. Don’t Force It

8. Using Social Stories and Worksheets

9. Pulling It All Together

10. References

Why Sharing Matters So Much in Early Childhood

There may be no other social skill that plays a bigger role in early childhood settings than learning to share. From toys on the playground to crayons at the art table, sharing is woven into nearly every group interaction.

Research shows that sharing and cooperation begin to emerge in the toddler years and continue developing through early childhood (Brownell, Zerwas, & Balaram, 2002). For autistic children, this development can look different and often requires more explicit support.

If you’re wondering what those early differences may look like, you can read more in my post on the early signs of autism in toddlers.

The good news? With clear, visual supports and lots of positive reinforcement, autistic children can learn how to share — and even begin to enjoy it.

Start Small: Setting Kids Up for Success

• Use less-preferred items first so success is possible without distress.

• Practice with adults before peers since adults can wait more flexibly.

• Keep sharing times short, even a few seconds at the beginning.

Make Sharing Visual

Autistic children often learn best with visual supports.

• Wait Mat – Place the item on a “wait” mat so the child sees it’s safe.

• Visual Schedules – Show steps like “My turn → Your turn → My turn again.”

• Worksheets & Coloring Pages – Let kids practice identifying sharable items outside of playtime.

  
  

👉 See my Sharing Worksheets and Coloring Pages here.

Model and Label Sharing

Children benefit from seeing adults demonstrate sharing in real time. As you do it, label what you are doing:

• “I am sharing my crayon with John.”

• "Thank you for sharing your crayon with me.”

Evidence-based interventions highlight that modeling and labeling social behaviors is one of the most effective ways to help young autistic children develop communication and social skills (Odom & Strain, 1986).

Different Ways to Share

Teach that sharing can look different depending on the situation:

• Dividing – snacks, crayons, playdough.

• Using together – side-by-side with blocks or coloring tools.

• Taking turns – slides, swings, or board games.

• Trading – swapping toys so both children get a turn.

Reinforcement: Making Sharing Rewarding

Let's face it, sharing is often hard. Finding extrinsic ways to reinforce children in the beginning is often necessary. After they have acquired the skill this can be faded.

• Praise: “Great job waiting your turn!”

• Sharing Bracelets: Add a sticker each time a child is caught sharing. When full, trade it in for a treat. The Sharing Bracelet is included in my Sharing Printables Bundle

• Token Boards/Sticker Charts: Build motivation and draw attention to moments of success with token boards or simple sticker charts that act as token board during activities.

Don’t Force It

You do not want to begin the child seeing sharing as a negative. Keep it positive. If a child resists, back up a step:

• Use less-preferred items.

• Keep the sharing time very brief.

• Add immediate reinforcement.

Small successes build confidence over time.

Using Social Stories and Worksheets

Social Stories explain sharing in a concrete way with visuals. If you’re new to the concept, I’ve written a full guide on what a social skill story is and how they work.

These short, visual narratives are one of the most effective ways to teach abstract social concepts like sharing to children with autism who are often strong visual learners.

Adapted Books are way to reinforce concepts such as sharing.

👉 Try my Adapted Book on Sharing to reinforce these concepts with visuals.

Worksheets & Coloring Pages can also reinforce social skills for children that are drawn to letters and or print activities.

👉 Explore my Sharing Social Story, Sharing Adapted Book, and Sharing Worksheets.

Pulling It All Together

Teaching autistic children to share takes patience, visuals, and persistence. With consistent practice, children can move from reluctantly giving up an item to happily (occasionally) sharing with friends.

👉 Try these ready-to-use resources:

• Sharing Worksheets & Coloring Pages

• Sharing Social Story

• Sharing Adapted Book

References

• Brownell, C. A., Zerwas, S., & Balaram, G. (2002). Social-emotional development in the toddler years: Sharing, helping, and cooperation. In R. Kail (Ed.), Advances in Child Development and Behavior (Vol. 29, pp. 53–92). Academic Press.

• Odom, S. L., & Strain, P. S. (1986). Effective intervention for social-communication skills of young children with autism. Exceptional Children, 52(6), 546–555.